I often wonder what on earth Madam and the Caretaker are talking about. Cyberspace…the Unconscious…Rights and Responsibilities…Existential this and that…CSI…They sometimes discuss quite unintelligible things such as the the tertiary education commission, strategic development, capital/debt ratios, transferable skills – well he does, as she nods off seeking solace in a glass of pinot gris. Transferable skills, for example…what might they be I ponder. Well,actually, now I know. You learn how to do a blog defending canine rights (very successfully, I might add) and then you transfer that skill into reflecting on the day to day life of probably the world’s most beautiful dog.

So today I’m feeling very suspicious as to why the Caretaker is looking so cheerful. It can’t be the weather – sadly, his very favourite subject – because we have been having an horrendous storm. It can’t be the food – sadly his second favourite subject – as even he seems to be getting bored with peanut butter sandwiches and icecream. It’s not the company of me and the Blob – she tells me she has been making him very anxious by the strategic placement of bird feathers around the house so that he spends half his time looking under chairs and behind cupboards. If he looked carefully he would see that the Blob is blobbier than usual. It could, of course, be quality assurance in tertiary education – a subject which, very, very, sadly, makes him almost orgasmic – but, according to his diary, that’s a week on Thursday. The most likely thing is that it’s me…the most perfect companion, golden, gorgeous, graceful…but that would apply all the time. Humanoids are very strange. Blob and I often say, I wonder what they’re thinking. If only they could tell us. Do you think they have emotions? Why are they so obsessed by food? Do they do anything without a reward? I wonder. If any of you can help us understand, we would be very grateful.

Before I forget – I went to the museum in Edinburgh (the olderst in Britain apart from the London ones) and saw their Millennium clock – fabulous. I’ve added a web address here (and also on the side panel) so you can have a look at it:

http://freespace.virgin.net/sharmanka.kinetic/clocktower/

I thought it was quite the most amazing thing I had seen for ages and hope you find it interesting too.

A beautiful day in London – warm and sunny and quite unseasonal. I am off to enjoy it – have fun today friends. Love as always. Ann

I surrender, absolutely and abjectly!! Please do no harm to my friends – they were only trying to counsel me. I will pay any reparation you decide on my return and promise not even to look at another dog (especially in the last week of the season on Skopelos – honest).

Lucky has been informed of the failure of the venture to rescue her again and is quite philosophical about it. She is a bit like me and speeding I think. She has a, mistaken, belief that she will never actually be caught with a sheep between her jaws – and is looking forward to testing that theory. So, I am sure she will be fine (ish).

You can now turn your finely tuned nose up at the flighty Betty and the bad hair Amber and reassure your pal Bentley that no incomers will be taking his place in the sniffing line. So, please, lets call off Woofing, Barking and Snarl and I’ll promise no more hard Luck(y) stories – OK?

Your repentant Madam.

You humans must think we’re daft. You sit in your cafes, chat on the beach, write your blogs and assume we don’t have a clue. A sniff, a pee, a pooh and some food and we’re happy…you think. Did you seriously believe that the plot to replace me would go unnoticed?? That we don’t talk to each other? That we don’t have just two degrees of separation like the rest of you?

So I’m down at Narrow Neck and that flighty little genetically modified poodle, Betty, comes along, giggling away, doing her Kylie Minogue bit…You’re Not So Lucky, Lucky, Lucky. What’s going on here, I think as I see her off with a vicious twitch of my nose. And then that lunatic Amber…the wheaten with a permanent bad hair day (tried to eat me once)…comes by with her ‘got a new boyfriend then? Aren’t you Lucky’ An angry raising of the eyebrow gets rid of her, but by now I can see something is up. And my pal Bentley (who is the only one who realises how sensitive I am) confirms it. They’re up to something he says.

So when I’m at Sue’s and Coralie’s I do my cutey bit, sitting near to them when they’re on the the computer. Thinking me a brainless blonde, they assume I’m just devoted to them but I see what’s going on, the dastardly deed being planned, and even worse voted on. Now I know who my friends are!

So, lets be clear. I’ve talked to my solicitors – Woofing, Barking and Snarl – and they advise me in the following way:

All negotiations with alternative animals will cease
A public apology will be made in the Flagstaff within two weeks
Compensation will be paid for the hurt and humiliation I have experienced
Those who voted in favour of this Lucky creature should be very very afraid

I can see the Caretaker looking apprehensively at me sitting at the computer, so I will leave it there. Madam may wish to ponder, as she continues her travels around Europe, on what might be suitable recompense on her return

You have all been warned.

You humans must think we’re daft. You sit in your cafes, wander along beaches, write your blogs and assume we don’t have a clue. A sniff, a pee, a pooh and some food and we’re happy…you think. Did you seriously believe that the plot to replace me would go unnoticed?? That we don’t talk to each other? That we don’t have just two degrees of separation. So I’m

Hi Folks,

After spending the weekend with Lucy and Forest in Kent – lovely, lovely Kent – and returning to regroup at Candice’s, I flew up to Edinburgh on Tuesday. Boy are my feet sore!!!

It is now Thursday afternoon and I think apart from eating and sleeping this is the longest I have sat down. I am surprised how much I remember of Edinburgh and where places are. It is such an easy city to walk around that it is tempting to overdo it and end up with SORE FEET – as mine are (throb, throb they say). Still, the rest of me is happy so I don’t care that they are complaining.

Now, what have I been up to. Well, lets see, on the Tuesday I walked from my hotel, just off the Royal mile, up to the University taking in the Museum and Greyfriars Bobby (the pub, not the little statue in the graveyard). I had a drink in the pub Rob and me used when we lived here – the Meadows – which is totally changed (thank goodness) and now serves a variety of wine – unheard of in the 60’s. Then it was through the Meadows and back along George Bridge. I ate at an up-market vegetarian restaurant that evening – but the menu was better than the food (Elisabeth, the dosa was not what we would have enjoyed).

The following day I took myself off into the wilds of West Lothian to revisit my roots. The village I came from was attached to the mining in the area. Now there is no mining and the village has been expanded by Glasgow over-spill. There are new houses being built but every single shop has closed, The Church hall is boarded up, the library gone, I did not see one person on the street and the school – which was the first school I attended – was impenetrable. A nearby, larger town seemed very poor, with grey people, lots of second hand shops, scruffy buildings and surroundings. So, it was a bit of a relief to return to the prosperity of Edinburgh again. I did take a taxi out to my senior school and that, at least, is thriving.

I got off the return train at Haymarket in Edinburgh and made my way past Atholl Crescent, where I had trained as a teacher in domestic science all those years ago. They have long gone now but the crescent remains as imposing as ever. I wanted to visit Charlotte Square and see a house there that they keep in 1790’s style. Most interesting, no toilets, no running water, no gas, but sumptuous furnishings and hard, hard work for the servants. On my way back to the hotel I took in the National Art Gallery – lovely Florentine and Renaissance paintings, but not the Whistler I was expecting to see. I asked a taxi driver to recommend a good Indian restaurant and ate there in the evening.

Today has been a bit of a this and that day and not at all what I had planned. I had decided to visit Valvona and Crolla my most favourite deli in the WHOLE world, and that was fab. It still smells just as good, but has expanded to include wine, a gift shop and a cafe – guess where I had my capucinno? Then I wanted to walk the Waters of Leith to dean village, where my mother was born, and thought if I took a bus down Leith Walk then I could begin there. I was not wrong – just about 3 miles out of my way! Still, I began walking and it felt really unsafe – I had asked a young man and a woman with a baby if it was safe to walk the path and they had said yes, but I wasn’t sure – especially when the path stopped and I had to walk through industrial areas and the path began again but looked derelict and full of discarded junk. Eventually I came to a bridge and a pub. The barmaid said it was definitely not safe to do this part of the walk so, I had a tonic to revive me and set off – for the nearest bus stop! I got talking to a retired Welsh fireman at the bus stop who said the only bus went to the docks. OK, said I, I’ll go there. The docks have been vastly improved and are now the home to all the ‘yuppies’ in the town. However, I think we got our wires crossed and he recommended I get off miles away and walk! So I got another bus that was going to the centre of the town. Aren’t I lucky it stopped at the second vegetarian restaurant that I had been intending to go to – so that was lunch sorted! Now I have found this Internet Cafe and I am as happy as Lucky/Larry.

Personally, I think I have done as much of Edinburgh as I want to. It is a very beautiful city if you look up, but at the ground level it is either very touristy or a bit scruffy. When I was here 20 odd years ago I was impressed by the sense of emerging self identity. There was the new parliament, new art scene and everything felt very vibrant, exciting and progressive. This time it all feels a bit tired. One taxi driver was telling me a story about transport plans which, if true, points to a waste of money but also a lack of political will to see plans through and a bureaucratic mess which makes it difficult to achieve anything. There also seems to be a jaded feel about the ability of politics to be effective in changing social ills. Such a shame, especially after the high hopes and very real initial changes that were put in place by the early parliament.

Ah, well, back to London tomorrow to spend the weekend with Ed and Jan – in the peace of their garden. Talk soon. Love to all of you out there. Ann

Dear Daisy, would you mind very much if I brought home this lovely boy dog called Lucky? He is very well trained and apart from a small matter of chasing sheep – which we won’t concern ourselves with just at this moment – I think he would be an ideal addition to our household. He is black with a bit of white, he is very obedient, affectionate and very very intelligent, picking up everything you say and I think he would fit in very well. At the moment he lives in the house of Lucy and Fossie with Harry, a West Highland Terrier , and Bernard, a beautiful golden Labrador puppy (about 18 weeks old I think) as well as five cats, with whom he gets on very well. So, when you discuss this with Sissy you can let her know that he is cat trained to purrfection (in fact he could assist you in tipping the scales in your relations with Sissy – you know what I mean?).

There would be no conflict of interest with you because where you like a gentle stroll Lucky loves a big bouncing run – he could run behind the car round and round Ngataringa, no? Again, where you don’t care for wet grass Lucky loves nothing more than to run through bush and nettles and the stickier the better for him to bring home presents for his carers. He is very like you in that he too likes to lie just where causes most problem for passing humans. He wouldn’t even compete for your food since he has dried food and any forage that the cats bring in (apart from gallbladders, which he does not care for).

Finally, he is in a bit of trouble just now because he was found playing with – well scaring to death – some neighboring farmers sheep (you’d think those sheep would know better and keep out of his way!. So he may have to wear an electric collar – and if that does not work then he may be shot. I, personally, think we should apply for deportation – like they used to do to criminals – and send him to new Zealand. They like hard luck cases there – although they are not to keen on introduced species and so Lucky may have to disguise himself as a Kiwi for the first few months till the local animals get used to him – and I think he would fit right into our household and to NZ in general. What do you think? Will you discuss it with Sissy and get back to me. Time is of the essence – the electric collar beckons. Love. Your human, Ann.

I am back in London, at Candice’s – at least until tomorrow morning! I have been very efficient since I got up this morning in Alconbury, at Sarah’s, braving the maniacs (myself included) on the A14 and M11 to get back to Hextable by 9.30am. I have found out where it is I am going to tomorrow when I leave for Lucy and Fossi’s; booked a flight to/from Edinburgh and a hotel as well as ‘meet and greet’ parking, who will whisk my car away and park it for me when I arrive at Stansted on Tuesday. I have arranged to meet Eleni and Paul early in October and arranged dates with Candice when I will be foisting myself on her and Geoff. I have done 2 loads of washing and am about to pack my bag for the weekend.

If you remember, I was bowled away by how well everything had gone in Hornsea on the Monday. Well, it continued in the same vein so that by Wednesday the auctioneers had removed the big furniture, the British Heart Foundation had taken the small electrical – and a couple of bookshelves I saw them sequester away – as well as some other household items, the Dove House Hospice took the beds and fridge and Oxfam – courtesy of Derek (bless him) – got all the rest. Well, that is apart from all the dog and cat stuff – why did we have 12 dog/cat beds, including hers and hers in some designs – which went to a pet re homing project that Maureen is part of. Derek managed to get the bike off the wall and the lock succumbed to fierce work with a hacksaw while Gary rode it over to Kidds before going off for his session at the gym. The solicitor was very efficient and we completed 6 steps in the process instead of the normal one in the hour I was with her. I even managed to do all the little bits of house administration, management company and general tidying up that is the fall out from such a complex set of things. And all is well.

I had such fun at David and Maureens with their wonderful dog, Polly, who is nothing like Daisy and in no way reminded me of her. However, she did remind me of what real dogs do – licking, jumping, playing, rolling over – which Daisy does not do. But I think just being with another dog made me realise how much I miss Daisy (and all of you). Of course, as Rob has mentioned, there were the geese – not as scary as I thought they would be (well, actually, Maureen’s protection of me probably had something to do with that)- and the chickens, who are rescue chickens. Did you know that egg producers ‘discard/kill’ chickens who do not lay ‘regular’ eggs. Maureen took 20 of them but says 1,800 are regularly discarded! And all because supermarkets say the customer wants ‘regular’ sized and coloured eggs! I collected eggs from the chickens and fed the sheep some cabbage but did not get too close to the pigs who can be quite rough – but look very sweet. Maureen and David have 5 acres on top of a hill overlooking all the land to the coast and out to sea. They are on the edge of the North York moors and the view is spectacular and very English and pastoral. It is a view one would never tire of and Maureen says it is always changing as different things go on in the farm land and as the landscape changes. I particularly liked the variety of garden birds I sat and watched from their kitchen.

Coming there was a joy after a day in Hornsea when I was quite tired and a bit washed out from taking leave of our belongings, house and area. The drive was about 40 minutes through very pleasant, peaceful countryside with nothing to bother about apart from the slowest drivers in the country (Grrrr!). I can so see why they live there.

I was fortunate to finish work early on Wednesday and so I took myself off to Burton Agnes for some visual gardening and a (very) little shopping. The trip gave me the opportunity to make a side trip to Ulrome, and a minor road drive to Burton Agnes through farmland where there were skylarks, hares and a kestrel.

Yesterday I departed Yorkshire by the gentle route which took me through countryside with signs to towns such as Thwing, Fridaythorpe, Holme on the Wolds, Cherry Burton, Rascal Moor and Melbourne before I entered the fray again and drove down to Alconbury and Sarah. And it was quite splendid to be with Sarah again and catch up on what has been happening in her and Charlie’s lives (Charlie is going to university to be a designer of shoes). But the time was too short really and I had to be off this morning for London.

OK, now you are up to date and I am going to have some tea. I shall be away for the weekend but will log on again before I go to Scotland on Tuesday. LOTS of love to everyone – and some hugs too. Ann

You will have noticed that Ann seems to have disappeared from your virtual world. Fortunately, a pigeon just arrived and I’ve been asked to report (once I got it out of Sissy’s mouth) that Ann is well. Indeed very well. Somehow in three days in Yorkshire she has disposed of a container of our belongings, and seen solicitors, tenants, friends, charities, estate agents, Burton Agnes Hall, the disppearing Yorkshire coastline etc. She has been out of contact because North Yorkshire – where she is staying with Maureen, David, sheep, geese, pigs, chooks, rabbits and Polly (a dog) – is rather too near the North Pole for Yahoo and Blackberries to cope. However, she is now heading South to Sarah’s, Candice’s and then onto Lucy and Forest for the weekend, so no doubt you will soon get the full story.

Meanwhile, back at 42 Mozeley, the dog would like her chauffeur back, the cat her pillow, the worms their haute cuisine, and Rob just Ann. Further insights into the remarkable changes at No. 42 will appear over the weekend. Meanwhile we can all look forward to Ann’s next blog.

Hi Ann,
Great to read all your latest happenings. It is quite a mission. I am all ready to leave in the morning and very excited/nervous about the trip but really looking forward to meeting up with Amanda.
We have seen a little bit of Rob and I am sure the boys will get together while I am away.
The bathroom has been a litle delayed but hoping it will be finished by the time we get back.
We will catch up again when I get back 30th Sept.
lots of love from Mary